John’s Eulogy John Lewis Carter 1927 - 2006
John’s family requested the following scripture be used and asked a specific poem be read prior to the closing prayer at the graveside service, held Monday, October 9, 2006, at Harpeth Hill Memory Gardens and Funeral Home in Nashville, Tennessee. Scripture: "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also." (John 14:1-3) Eulogy: Though Jesus spoke these words shortly before his crucifixion and to his close friends, his words have provided comfort to untold Christians for centuries. We find comfort, even today, in his promise to return…his promise to receive his followers…his promise that we may be with him. The King James Version of the Bible speaks of "many mansions," while other translations use "many rooms." Some of us who’ve been looking forward to "a mansion in the sky" may be disappointed if we find ourselves assigned to a room. I’ll let the biblical scholars debate whether Jesus meant rooms or mansions. It won’t matter to me, I’m just gonna be thankful for a place in Heaven. After all, it’s who I’m with that matters most to me…not my environment. I’ve been privileged to know John Carter since 1963. He was my meat supervisor when I worked for a small grocery chain in Tupelo, MS. At the time, I didn’t realize how important a role John would play in my career. I had a couple of years of college behind me, but I needed more funds to continue my education. I liked my job as a meat cutter, but I wanted a college education, believing a better living could be earned with an education than without one. I believe John Carter saw that I had some potential that I didn’t realize I had. After a year of work I was able to return to college and finish my education. I taught school for a few years, but financial pressures pulled me back into the grocery business in 1973. Once I had a few years of managerial experience in the meat department, John successfully encouraged his boss to award me a supervisor’s position in the company. As I see it, John’s role in my career was a lot like that of Jesus in relation to the disciples. John was there to prepare a place for me shortly after we first met. And because John came back into my life in later years, I was able to be with him, to work alongside him, and to enjoy some wonderful times of fellowship. Times that I would not have experienced had we never met. One memorable occasion found us together on the White River near Mountain Home Arkansas, when a group of us "meat guys" were treated by Bryan Foods to a guided trout fishing opportunity. Our hosts arranged for our evening meals to be cooked on an open campfire a few yards from the edge of the river. One evening, steaks were on the grill. There were probably fifteen of us around the fire, each enjoying the beverage of his choice, the warmth of the fire, and the camaraderie of our version of "a band of brothers." I ended up with a grill fork in my hand assisting one of our hosts cooking the steaks. John Carter’s favorite steak was a ribeye. He’d already picked out one on the grill and told everyone which steak was his. Mind you, John didn’t want to cook his steak, he just wanted to make sure it was cooked to his liking. Following the head-cook’s lead, I began helping turn the steaks as he did, by sticking the fork in the steak to flip it over. When John saw I was about to turn his steak, he growled, "Don’t you stick that fork in my steak." Our eyes met, and I could see that he was serious. I didn’t like the tone of his voice the first time he issued the warning, and I really didn’t like it when he repeated his command. "I’ll chunk your steak in the river," I replied. The other guys stopped their conversations and gawked at the two of us, sort of like bystanders watching a pair of gunslingers square off in the days of the Old West. But, after considering the foolishness of wasting a perfectly good ribeye, I backed down. Tensions eased, conservations resumed, and everyone was soon occupied with eating a delicious steak in a great outdoor setting. Later, I asked John what he would have done if I had tossed his ribeye in the river. "I’d have eaten yours," he said. He might have, too. That’s an experience we have both laughed about over the past twenty years. Miss Jean has had a far longer relationship with John than I have. They celebrated 58 years of marriage last February. Did you know they got married on Jean’s birthday…as John used to tell, he was the best birthday present she ever got. John spent a lifetime preparing for others. He became a husband to prepare a better life than one can find living alone, and he prepared to raise a family with his new bride. From what I can tell, John worked hard preparing for his daughters and providing for their needs. John loved his family deeply and by his loving example, he taught his daughters to love others and to love their own children. John never had a son, but in a sense he adopted me as part of his family. A few years before his retirement John and I supervised a number of grocery stores in west Tennessee. He had known this group of folks for years, but my face was new to them. John got a big kick out of telling folks that I was his oldest son. He had several of them believing his story, not that we look that much alike, but we did have the same last name. I spoke to John twice in his last few weeks, once by phone and then when my wife and I visited him at home. Both times John asked, "How’s my oldest son?" I learned a lot about the meat business while I worked for him and with him. I learned how to work smart, not hard. That was John’s way of telling me to use my brains more than my brawn. I learned to delegate work to others, something John mastered years before. Ask his daughters, they know what I’m talking about. While we were visiting John last weekend, I think it was Nancy that commented that her dad was still able to "give orders" and wasn’t shy about asking first one and then another to go get this or that. Even in his final days, John was still delegating. I’m not prepared to say what would be the most important thing that John taught me. But, I believe it would involve principles in relationships rather than how to perform a given task. And, if I am able to follow his example in facing death with dignity, I’m asking that be listed as the greatest thing I learned from one I’ve fondly called Papa. In closing, let me share a poem that has a special meaning for John’s family. The author is unknown. The poem is entitled: He Only Takes The Best
God saw he was getting tired
With tear filled eyes we watched him
A Golden heart stopped beating,
God Still Moves In The Lives Of Believers How much God actively involves himself in the lives of individuals is not a question I can answer. I only know that he does. I’ve never subscribed to the idea that God controls ones destiny or wills that some are "elected" by him while others are not. If God calls or elects certain individuals to salvation he calls everyone. The choice to obey and follow is left to the individual. Neither do I believe that there is a God-appointed time for each of us to die, so when I hear others say his or her "number was up" or speak of the Lord calling him or her home, I don’t challenge their belief system, I just don’t agree with them. My friend John Carter died sooner than his doctors expected following his cancer diagnoses. I believe God knew when John would die, but I don’t believe there was anything like a clock in Heaven set with a predetermined number of ticks that equate to the span of John’s life.
However there is a verse of Scripture that provides some insight into God’s
intervention into the lives of men, "In all things God is working to bring
about good to those who love him and are called unto his purposes." (Romans
8:28) And, it is in this verse that I base my thoughts concerning some recent
circumstances.
Question: If God knows all things, did he intervene in the situation to accommodate my schedule? Answer: Consider that plane reservations would not have been made prior to learning of John’s death unless my plans to ride with a coworker were cancelled by the special project. Question: Did God, somehow arrange a project in the MidWest Region, knowing that I would be needed to conduct a funeral? Answer: Probably. Question: Could not someone else have been called at the last minute for the funeral? Answer: Yes, but God had chosen me for that task. Question: How do you know God chose you? Answer: God often relays his will to us through our friends or others. John’s family asked me to conduct the funeral less than a week before he died. John died earlier than anticipated so I had not developed my thoughts on what to say. However, as I contacted various "old meat supervisor" friends to let them know about John, two of them encouraged me in my commitment to his family, one of whom stated, "Don’t worry about the eulogy, God will give you the words you need to say." I believe God, who knows all things, knew John would die on Friday. I believe he made sure I would be able to officiate at the graveside service and still attend the business meeting in Wisconsin. I strongly believe God "worked to bring about good," by establishing the right set of circumstances which allowed me to do his will. I don’t pretend to know how he did so, but I believe he moved to make it happen. God still moves.
Bodock Beau Plane Crash The following may be a bit early for Halloween, but it tickled my funny bone. Thanks go to Ed Dandridge, who sent it to RRN. Plane Crash Some of you may know my ex-wife, Judy. She had started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started (2001), and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year. Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Some could call it a crash; an accident at the least. Our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.
National Transportation Safety Board officials have issued a preliminary
determination citing pilot error contributed to the accident, and Judy was
flying a single engine aircraft (a basic model, at best) in IFR (instrument
flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight
rating) rating.
Teaching Old Dogs New Tricks If dogs trained people, we’d learn things like:
Habit-Forming Several elderly nuns were on the second floor of the convent when a fire broke out. The nuns calmly took off their habits, tied them together to make a rope and climbed out the window to safety. When they were on the ground, a reporter asked them, "Weren’t you afraid the rope might break since the material is so old?" "Heavens, no," said one of the nuns. "Old habits are hard to break." Quick Quips
What did the muskmelon say to the watermelon?
I have something that lets me look through walls. What is it?
What’s the difference between a donkey and a postage stamp?
Source: Laugh Letter Newsletter
Copyright © 2000 - 2006 RRN Online.
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By a remarkable set of circumstances, I was able to fulfill a
commitment I made a couple of weeks ago to a friend’s family. I will
share more on this in the second article in this issue. I am convinced that
God still moves in our lives and on a level of detail that we cannot comprehend.
