October 03 '96
Volume 16
Date
Changed October 14 7
A mind is
a
terrible thing. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Of all the things I’ve
lost, I miss my mind the most. You may have heard these or some of these
before. All contain some truth. In my case, I can identify with all of these
statements.
I have been aware of a planned fishing trip for a good 3 months or more.
At first I knew only that the trip would be in the Fall. One of my fishing
friends had suggested we do something different from our past 3 fall fishing
trips. Lee Gordon felt we would all enjoy fishing for Red fish in Southern
Louisiana. Time pasted, plans were made, possible schedules were considered,
and finally the date was set for mid-October, when at least 3 of our group
could fully commit. Then about a week later, Lee Gordon called back to say
the guide we needed would not be available. Lee wanted to know if we could
possibly move the date up one week. Nothing on my calendar indicated a problem
for the second week of October, so the date was fixed in the minds of all
involved. Well, at least all, save one.
Last night, Jim Hess called me. Jim said he noticed in my last mailing of
Ridge Rider News, that I stated we would be leaving to go fishing October
14, and wanted to know if I was aware of the mistake. Lying is not my strong
suite, but I should have thought fast enough to pretend that I must have
missed the typographical mistake. Of course, that did not happen, and now
I must cope with friends who delight to learn of my mistake. It is not an
overwhelming embarrassment to me, for I have a lifetime of mistakes to look
back upon. It is, however, a crushing blow to those who look upon me as the
source of all knowledge of all things. I keep telling them that I do not
know everything, but they do not want to hear the truth. Jim said he would
call Lee and make certain that he had not misunderstood the dates.
Within fifteen minutes of my conversation with Jim, Lee Gordon called to
add insult to injury. Believe me, he can toss an insult, especially a good
natured one. I asked Lee why he had not found the mistake, himself. He explained
that he usually just looked at the pictures. This explains why he missed
it and I am sure he told the truth, since his wife, Connie, had told me that
she recently read several back issues of the newsletter to Lee as they drove
to Memphis. However, he allowed that Connie was so excited to see her name
in print that she did not pay any attention to the wrong date.
Needless to say, it will be quite sometime before my fishing friends allow
me to forget my error. In their view such a mistake is, at least from the
female perspective, the equivalent of forgetting an anniversary date or the
birthday of a spouse.
First Light Lite
FBC, Pontotoc, 9/22/96
Our eloquent or is it elegant Pastor asked Randy Moss to come from the choir
loft to the pulpit area. "You all know Randy Moss, his wife Dawn and their
child, ( ? )." Randy was about to be recognized for completion of one year
of service as Church Custodian. Randy approached the pulpit somewhat shyly
and hesitantly. In brotherly fashion, Dr. Sims placed his arm behind Randy,
and rested his hand upon Randy’s right shoulder. The next few words
from the mouth of the preacher were the only ones I can recall with a modicum
of accuracy. "I want you folks to know, that this morning....... at the crack
of dawn, Randy....." My recall fades concerning the words spoken during the
next few moments, for at that point, I was wanting to laugh so badly I hurt.
I glanced to the choir loft to see if Joel might have picked up on the
pastor’s faux pas, but found his expression unchanged. I scanned
other male members of the choir, and saw no one in an apparent struggle to
maintain composure. I even looked quickly to my right and left to see if
anyone had noticed the ambiguity of "the crack of dawn". Alas, it seems that
I was alone in my enjoyment of the humor of the moment. Well, I do remember
we recognized Randy for his year of service, and the pastor sent him back
to the choir loft as applause filled the sanctuary.
Speaking of applause, if you are opposed to Church folks clapping to show
their appreciation, you would not like attending our Church. We will clap
for about anything, repeat about any phrase the preacher wants repeated by
the congregation, read scripture corporately, provided we use the "Doug Jones
approved" authorized version of the Bible, and have even been known to stand
in reverence to the reading of a letter from the President. Lest I forget,
and in our attempt not be outdone by our charismatic brethren, we have had
congregational arm waving coupled to musical signing for the deaf members
we do not even have.
I am able to remember parts of the sermon, and that the preacher addressed
5 points in his 6 point sermon. I remember he talked about illicit sex as
one of the evils of society today, but he pronounced illicit sex like most
of us pronounce elicit sex, i.e. long vowel "e". That sometimes made it difficult
to know which one he really meant, especially after the opening blunder.
However, I spent most of the sermon time wondering why the pastor could not
have chosen a different way to phrase his opening remarks about Randy Moss.
Perhaps he could have used: "Early this morning" or "While many of you were
still in the bed" or "About daylight" or "Before daybreak". Why, even "As
the day began to dawn" would have worked. But the crack about "the crack
of dawn" really cracked me up.
Slightly disrespectively,
Share this article with a friend.
Home
Copyright © 2000 - 2003 RRN
Online.
