RRN Online Volume 12

September 09 '96

Volume 12

Leslie or Lesley A Rose By Any Other Name...

Leslie Basham is alive and well. How sweet it is! For those of you who are unfamiliar with this person, I shall explain. For about 2 years Leslie was the TV spokesperson for Pat Peck, the Plymouth-Dodge-Jeep-Eagle-Nissan dealer in Greenville, MS. I never knew if her name was spelled Leslie or Lesley, but as Shakespeare wrote, "...a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." I once saw her on TV at least daily and sometimes 3 or 4 times per day. Leslie is a charming young woman with short brown hair, dark brown eyes, a creamy white complexion, and wonderfully expressive eyebrows. Her sparkling white teeth and crimson lips would qualify her for a toothpaste commercial. Vocally, her diction is flawless.

Alas, no more am I able to see her on TV. (I knew that I should have taped some those commercials.) I suppose her contract with the car dealer expired and she moved on to bigger and better things. Recently a friend called to tell me that she had seen Leslie on a government, manpower video, that she had been required to watch as part of her job interview process.

I can recall only one other TV person whose sheer beauty so completely captivated me. She was one of "Charlie’s Angels", Jaclyn Smith. I remember seeing her in different roles on TV since she played on the detective show, and found myself wondering how anyone could be so beautiful. Jaclyn has to be the most perfectly formed woman on this planet. My guess is that Eve (the one in the Garden of Eden) must have looked quite a lot like Jaclyn. Facially speaking, all parts are in place and attractively presented. Overall, if she has any defects, I can truthfully state I have not seen them.

For a long time I thought that Sophia Loren might be the

most beautiful woman on earth, but I believe I would rate Jaclyn above Sophia even in her prime. Now that I think about it, I don’t believe that I have ever seen a full body shot of Leslie. Why she might have fat ankles or webbed feet. Such would be a disappointment too great to bear, more dreadful than hearing that Barbara Mandrell smokes.

If all this adoration is boring to my female readership, I apologize, but I rejoice that I am male. It is a part of my makeup to appreciate women of beauty. Yes, I know the expression, ‘beauty is only skin deep’, but you also know what they say about ugly. "It goes down to the bone."

Have you ever watched a beauty pageant and paid close attention to the audience, how males and females react differently to the same person. You will not hear many males groaning, "that evening dress makes her look like a cow", or a male speak disparagingly about the thighs or hips of a woman in the swimsuit competition. Granted the behavior of some males in an audience is too base to describe here, but as a group, men are more likely to express sincere appreciation for female beauty, than are women.

Move’em Out

It is not unusual in rural Mississippi to see a pickup truck that has a gun rack mounted in the rear window. Over the years I have observed the racks are not only used for holding the rifle or shotgun of the owner, but also as a rack for hats, ball caps, short ropes, belts, fishing rods, and assorted other useful, but "I don’t need it right now" things. Seeing any combination of the above has never sparked my curiosity as to why the driver or owner chose to so display such paraphernalia. However, I recently saw a cattle prod horizontally racked in the rear window of a pickup truck, that I was following into Pontotoc.

I can envision a driver motoring along during hunting season and upon seeing a deer in an open field, pull over, reach for a rifle and blast away at the deer. For that matter, I can vouch for personally knowing a fellow who thinks that any stray cat or any cat for that matter, that happens to be sighted along country byways should be treated as a threat to legitimate game animals, and dispatched the same treatment given the wild coyotes. For this sportsman-hunter, the cat is good target practice with a 12 gauge shotgun, and the extermination of cats, serves well his wildlife conservationist’s spirit.

I can understand how a pickup driver might not need to wear his hat on all occasions and might therefore leave it on the gun rack, so that it does not get accidentally sat upon by the some of the gang when "yawl come on, let’s get a beer at the Blue Room" is heralded. For just about anything found hung on a gun rack except a gun, I can sort of understand. But a cattle prod?

An interview with the owner of the cattle prod, might go like this.

RRN: "So, tell me Hugh Gene, just why do you have a cattle prod on your gun rack?"

HG: "Well, it’s like this, you see, I’m a drivin’ down the road and I see’d this bull, that waddn’t really doing nothin’ and I figures, what the heck. All that bull needs is a good prod. Well if I ain’t got no cattle prod, I can’t do nar a thang. So’s I keep my cattle prod right on that ‘air rack, just in case I sees an ol’ bovine that needs a good proddin’.... heh, heh, heh, heee."

RRN: "Let me make sure I understand what you are saying, here. You keep a cattle prod inside your truck, so if you see a bull or cow that needs a prod, you will be able to prod it?"

HG: "Shor ‘nuf. I use’ to raise a few head of cattle, and the mostest fun part was loading them yearlin’ cattle in the trailer, and takin’em to the sale barn. If they’s to not want to loadup, you just zap’em with that electrical stick and it gits their attention real good."

RRN: "You once raised cattle? Okay, so now you keep the prod around to remind you of the past and to occasionally prod a neighbor’s cow. Is that right?"

HG: "Yes sir’re, plus its a fine thang to have in yore hand if you’s gets in a real bad fight. Sort of an equa-lizer, I likes to call it."

I would advise you, dear reader, to keep a safe distance between your vehicle and the one in front of you that sports a cattle prod. By all means, do nothing to provoke the driver.

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