July 16 '96
Volume 6
Prelude To A
Long Weekend
I spent a
long
day in Little Rock, AR on July 11. The Arkansas Retailers Association was
meeting to discuss the status of the Electronic Benefits Transfer (Food Stamps)
Rollout for the State. George Lea had invited me to attend. A SUPERVALU
representative from Missouri was also there, a counterpart of mine named
Wayne Hunter. The state of Arkansas plans to begin a pilot project in early
November ‘96.
I arrived back in Greenville around 6:00 p.m. and had been involved in removing
still more Mondo grass for transporting to the hill country, when the portable
phone in my back pocket rang. Sarah Sue was on the other end of the line
and her first words were, "Bad news". That was about as good as it got.
Sarah had a small pin head sized growth near the end of her nose that she
suddenly noticed had changed color. After contacting her dermatologist in
Tupelo, she was urged to come in that morning. Upon seeing the spot, her
doctor immediately prepared to remove it for a biopsy. She said that he was
convinced it was a tumor, possibly malignant. Test results would be revealed
on the follow-up visit the following week. The small incision required a
single stitch to close. The most painful part of the procedure for Sarah
was the shot of local anesthesia. The pain was by her account, equal to or
greater than that associated with childbirth, kidney stones, or dental pain.
The shot also began a flood of tearing in the right eye that extended beyond
the complete procedure.
Sarah has a propensity, probably inherited from our mother, to expect and
predict the direst of circumstances to be the outcome of anything unknown.
Melanoma with a life expectancy of 6 months is a possibility, but so is a
finding with less drastic results. How I managed to ward off inheriting such
genes of pessimism is beyond me.
Soon after arriving home, Sarah found herself surrounded by an armada of
Sheriff vehicles. With Felicia away for the week at Band Camp in Fulton,
MS, her first thoughts were that Felicia had been involved in some misfortune.
The officials instead asked the whereabouts of her husband. Not knowing where
Jerry was at the time, Sarah explained and promised to convey their message
to him. A short time later, she spoke with Jerry by phone and informed him
that deputies were asking to see him. When Jerry arrived at their residence,
he was followed by several decal laden, illuminated law enforcement vehicles.
As Sarah watched her husband being handcuffed, she demanded to know why he
was being apprehended. She was shown a warrant indicating he was being charged
with the manufacture of marijuana. With motherly instincts aflame, she told
Jerry that his actions had better not have jeopardized Brett’s chances
to attend the Math and Science School.
As my perspiration begin to dry, a result of inactivity from digging Mondo
grass, the neighbor’s one dog found great pleasure in barking through
the chain link fence as if he knew I was trying to carry on a conversation
via the phone nestled to my ear, with my now deadened left arm. Sarah shared
her intention to move out of the Ecru home and file for a divorce.
Such was the prelude to a long weekend.
Open Discussion
Friday night was also nontypical in that Felicia was away from the gathering
for supper in Wayne’s World. Sarah was in high gear as she talked about
the situation with Jerry and the Law. We listened to various scenarios played
out in her imaginative mind. Being fired from her teaching position, being
falsely implicated in the manufacture of marijuana when Jerry realized she
had left him, the possibility that Jerry could have the parental right to
have Felicia visit him every other weekend, the probability that Jerry would
throw out family heirlooms or possessions belonging to Sarah or the children
in retaliation for Sarah’s divorce declaration, and the perception that
students would not respect the opinions of a teacher whose spouse was a convicted
felon were among the weighty matters discussed and rediscussed.
The air in the kitchen was thickened by stress and worry from 7 ‘til
12. Sarah drove home late Friday night, in order to be home when Felicia
phone at 6:00 a.m. to talk to her mother and update her on the prior day’s
activities. After Felicia’s first night on campus and dealing with the
long lines at the pay phones in the dorms of ICC, she elected to call early
in the mornings instead of the evenings. Sarah had decided not to upset Felicia
with the divorce news, but would share this with her Saturday afternoon after
the Band Concert.
It is a sad fact that alcoholism destroys families and even if the marriage
is not dissolved the relationships among family members can never be restored
to their levels prior to the scarring produced by the disease. Brett is very
supportive of the decision of his mother. He stated that she should have
left his dad at least ten years ago. Felicia is thoroughly convinced that
her father is guilty as charged.
It is certainly possible to give Jerry Brown the benefit of the doubt and
say it is possible that he really did not have anything to do with the plants
or even know of their existence. Since he is rarely completely sober, it
is reasonable to assume his friends could have done this without his knowledge.
Unlikely, but possible. I would think the Sheriff’s department would
have something more substantial than the discovery of marijuana plants on
the property, if they hope for a felony conviction. A lawyer has told us
that Jerry can plead guilty to possession, a misdemeanor, and get off with
a very light, first offense conviction. Regardless of the outcome, most of
his family hopes to see Jerry be required to dry out and attend Alcohol Anonymous
as part of any probationary clauses of the conviction.
Saturday morning, I managed to finish sprigging Mondo grass in the last section
that was prepared a few weeks ago. A mid morning shower postponed the grass
cutting/ weed eating ritual until early afternoon. Sarah and Barbara attended
the Band Concert in Fulton prior to picking up a tightly wound pre-teen who
was ready to spray her week’s experiences, machine gun style, on her
mother and Aunt Barbara. I was not present, but I imagine the upholstery
of the car was begging relief from the carnage. The kid can talk. It sort
of comes naturally, and is undeniably hereditary.
Saturday night was pretty much a repeat of Friday. I have purposefully avoided
offering marital advice to my sister. Not that I do not have an opinion,
it is just that I feel I can serve her needs better at this time by being
a listening brother. Since reconciliation has occurred in past situations
that are indeed similar, though less severe, I choose to comment only if
my opinion is directly solicited.
My thoughts on divorce are not as concretized as in my younger years. Admittedly
less Biblically sound than in yesteryear, today I find additional justification
for marital dissolution. Perhaps I have been corrupted by worldly thinking,
perhaps I have grown wiser, perhaps I am but a fool. My ancient friend, Paul,
stated ‘though we now see dimly, we shall someday clearly see.’
(not a direct quote, but the point is made.)
On Sunday afternoon, 7/14, Barbara and I stopped at a Texaco station off
I55 near Grenada. Gordon and Elese Sansing of Vicksburg just happened to
be there at the same time. We visited for a delightful 40 or more minutes
as a rain storm blew past.
The Sansings had been visiting their son Brian in Corinth and were returning
to Vicksburg. The stressful weekend, the unexpectedness of the encounter,
and the special friendship of this family combined to bless our travels back
to our weekly residence in Greenville. As I mentioned to the Sansings earlier,
God really takes care of our every need.
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