Rather than see a doctor about the condition I generally describe as my
swallowing problem, I chose to explore ways to reduce the occurrences
of the problem. I discovered that whenever food felt lodged in my esophagus
I was in no danger of choking for my air passage was not blocked. I found
that by consuming a carbonated beverage at mealtime, there would be enough
gas pressure in my stomach so that a self-induced burp could coax the blockage
loose. I learned to chew food more thoroughly and to not hurry my eating.
This past year, I also learned to talk less while eating and to concentrate
more on chewing and swallowing.
My swallowing problem was not life-threatening, and I considered it a minor
inconvenience to the enjoyment of eating. It was something to respect rather
than fear. I might not have done anything about it in the way of seeing a
doctor, except that in thinking some recent chest pain might be related to
my heart, I described my esophageal experiences to my cardiologist.
He convinced me I needed to have my esophagus checked by his use of a single
word, cancer.
As I recall he stated, What you have is not normal
if unchecked
and untreated, it could turn into cancer.
I laugh off my chances of contracting certain diseases and disorders, but
cancer gets my attention. There have been too many folks in my family diagnosed
and treated for cancer (some died with the disease) for me not to take cancer
seriously. And, having personally survived prostate cancer, Id just
as soon not take on another cancer challenge.
My cardiologist made an appointment for me to see a gastroenterologist in
early December. I was told a test would be needed in order to render a diagnosis
and/or treat my swallowing problem. I had hoped to get the test completed
prior to 2008, but I was told by a scheduler (not only are physicians
specialists, now office personnel are specialists, too) that was not possible
and since the new appointment calendar had not arrived, I would
have to wait a few days before setting a date
for the test.
The test is called an EGD, where EGD is short for Esophago/Gastro/Duoden/oscopy
(used for emphasis, caps and slashes are mine). I tell folks its like
a colonoscopy, which is something most people have heard of, but its
done from the other end. I meant to ask if they use the same instrument,
but that slipped my mind when I was with the doctor.
The one thing I made sure to ask the physician was if I would be put to sleep
for the procedure, because Id heard, what to me were horror
stories of persons having to swallow a steel ball and have it pulled
back out several times in order to stretch the esophagus. Im
okay with having my esophagus stretched, as long as I dont know
whats happening at the time.
Actually, youll be in a deeper sleep than when you had your heart
catheterization, he shared, assuring me I had no reason to dread the
procedure, and, unlike a colonoscopy, you dont have to be cleaned
out, just take nothing my mouth after midnight if youre coming in for
an early morning test. During the tests, well do whatever needs
done
stretch your esophagus or biopsy anything suspicious looking.
Oh, and youll need someone with you to drive you home.
Barbara and I arrived bright and early on January 2, for my test. We were
there before seven oclock for the seven-thirty appointment. After
checking in, we were soon called back to the holding corral.
Okay, its not a corral, but there were a dozen or more private
stalls. I was assigned to stall number three, I think. I was
given a hospital gown and told to remove my shirt, slip on the gown, and
lie on the bed. Not long afterwards, a nurse went over a list of questions
and procedures. Someone also stuck a needle in the back of my right
hand for a port to administer the appropriate medications. I had not slept
well, having awakened around three a.m. and had been unable to go back to
sleep before arising around four-thirty or five oclock. Rather
than being anxious to have the medical procedure over with, I simply wanted
to sleep on the bed/ gurney.
Shortly before eight oclock I was rolled into another room for the
procedure. I met a nurse who stated she would be administering my
anesthesia, and I met the nurse who would be assisting my physician. I was
told to lie on my left side in a comfortable position. I remember someone
telling me the anesthesia was in the IV and that Id be getting sleepy
very soon. I glanced at the clock on the wall, noting the time was 8:10,
and wondered when exactly Id be getting sleepy. Thats my last
clear memory until around the middle of the afternoon.
I vaguely remember being told I could get dressed and go home and of Barbara
leaving to bring the car around to the pickup area, though I have no memory
of being wheeled to the car or getting into it. Barbara forgot to get the
denture cup from underneath my bed and called back to the office to let them
know wed left an upper partial in the room. My memory of the
incident was we were still on the parking lot, but Barbara said we had driven
about two or three miles when she thought of it.
Barbara has since shared that I asked about the findings of the test, what
I could eat, and when I could eat it. She said it was like I had dementia
and could not remember something Id asked her minutes before. Im
sure I checked business email and voice mail after I got home, but I dont
remember doing either.
Im pleased to report the biopsy of benign-appearing esophageal
stricture that was dilated was just that, benign. While the test revealed
a nodule in the esophagus, it showed a normal stomach and normal duodenum.
However, Barbara mentioned the Doctor said my esophagus was quite narrow
and there was initially some doubt as to whether or not he could get tubing
with the scope inserted for the test.
My throat felt sore following the procedure, and the act of swallowing even
liquids was moderately painful that day and for the next several days. I
am to return to the Doctors office at the end of this month for a
follow-up. Currently, Ive encountered no problems with food lodging
in my esophagus and am hopeful the stretching procedure will resolve my
swallowing problem for months to come. If not, I imagine another EGD
will be scheduled.
Christmas
Bonus Won't Buy A Pool
I fully expect SUPERVALU will institute a Christmas bonus plan after I
retire. It would fit perfectly into lifes grand scheme of my
being born at the wrong time. Ive beat this dead horse before
and wont dwell on it except to say, had I been born at a later time,
I would have gotten to eat before adults at reunions and other mass gatherings,
rather than waiting to get the leftovers. And, had I been born sooner,
as an elder member of the church, my opinion would matter, rather
than having to contend with church leaders who cater to the wants and needs
of young adults and prefer their opinions to that of the older generation.
Yeah, itd be just like SUPERVALU to start a bonus plan after I
retire. Theres been a bonus plan around for years for members
of management, but for underlings like me, a bonus plan only recently became
available. I became eligible this year for a bonus, but it didnt
come in time for Christmas, and it wont be computed until the end of
the fiscal year, which for SUPERVALU comes at the end of February. I just
hope to get the check in time to settle with the IRS in April.
Lewis Grocer passes out a ham to employees for Christmas. Im
not an employee of Lewis Grocer in the true sense of the word, but all the
field staff get included on the ham list each year and Im thankful
for it.
SUPERVALU finds it convenient to mail out a modest $15.00 gift certificate
to us, which is redeemable at any SUPERVALU supplied supermarket, but after
reading the memo announcing the gift, I felt guilty for wanting to keep it
for myself.
If you would like to donate your gift certificate to A Gift of Love
(West Georgia); please submit your certificate to the HR department no later
than December 17 read more like Since this is not
a lot of money, why dont you just give it to somebody who needs it
more than you do.
Each year, when I use the gift certificate at a supermarket, I tell the owner
that it is my Christmas bonus, which usually draws a laugh.
In the movie National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, Clark Griswold,
in anticipation of a Christmas bonus, made a down payment on an in-the-ground
pool in hopes his bonus would arrive in time to cover the check. As
Christmas neared, Clark got pretty edgy for fear the bonus would not arrive
in time.
Though, the memo about the gift certificate arrived on December
4th, Christmas came and went, but the bonus never
did arrive. And, each day prior to Christmas, Id tell Barbara after
checking all the mail that my bonus didnt come. How disappointing!
It would have come in handy to put extra food on the table for Christmas
Dinner.
I suppose I had gotten somewhat edgy, but it may have been the head cold
that stirred me to action on December 20th. I sent a note to the HR person
explaining I had not received the gift certificate. She was on vacation,
and I didnt hear back from her until the twenty-sixth. Two days
later, UPS delivered the long awaited package.
Like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation, I spent my bonus before
I got it. Unlike Clark, I didnt have to make a down payment. While
I really havent spent it yet, I know exactly what Im going to
purchase with it. I intend to buy as many one-pound packages of Conecuh
brand smoked sausage as I can get for fifteen dollars. In this family,
we like to grill a few smoked sausages to supplement a steak dinner or a
hamburger. And, Ive not found a better tasting smoked sausage
than Conecuh.
Though disillusioned when he learned his Christmas bonus was an enrollment
in a jelly-of-the-month club, Clark Griswolds story has a happy ending,
with Clark promising to fly his family down when his new pool is ready.
My end-of-fiscal-year bonus wont be enough to buy a pool, let alone
fly my family in for a dip, but it may be enough for another Ridge Rider
party assuming Uncle Sam doesnt need all of it. Ill let you know.
Bodock Beau Top
Thoughts 2007
This is an abridged list we received from Kim Goslin.
1.
Life is sexually transmitted.
2.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
3.
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
4.
Some people are like a Slinky
not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
5.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
6.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
7.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial
tax cut saves you $0.30?
8.
In the '60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
9.
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among
the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as
to where millions of illegal immigrants are located. Maybe we should put
the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
10. Life is
like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, might burn your @$$ tomorrow.
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