November 03 '07 |
|
Volume 596 |
Tradition
Continues Mom's Birthday Dinner
My family, in case you didnt
already know, is big on tradition. And, once a tradition is established,
we tend to observe it forevermore. Some of our traditions we inherited from
our parents, but some came into being after Barbara and I married.
Consider mealtime. Traditionally, I sit at the head of the dining room table
with Barbara on my immediate right. When our extended family is present,
Felicia claims the seat to my immediate left. The breakfast table, which
is round, seats four. My place, as viewed from the sink area, is on the right,
and Barbara sits to my left. When we have family gatherings, Im among
the last to be served, but seldom do I find "my seat" taken when I get there.
My sister started a new tradition for our family a few years ago when she
moved from Ecru to Pontotoc. She asked that we observe Thanksgiving at her
house, and she prepares most of our Thanksgiving dinner meal. In the past,
mealtime has been shortly after noon and usually prior to one oclock.
This year, Felicia, whose husbands family counts Thanksgiving as a
must-attend family gathering in Oxford, has asked we postpone our traditional
mealtime until evening. Thats not likely to happen, but its for
Sarah to decide, not me.
The opening of gifts at Christmastime varies widely among different families
with even Santa gifts sometimes opened on Christmas Eve. In my childhood,
Christmas presents could not be opened until Christmas Day. I dont
remember that bothering me, and I cant recall pressuring my folks to
let me open a present or two early. Barbaras family allowed one gift
to be opened on Christmas Eve, but when our children came along, we held
to the tradition passed down on my side of the family.
My mother, Frances Crausby Carter, started a tradition of her own, but none
of her children remember when it was first observed. To appreciate Moms
tradition, one needs to know something of the times in which it came about.
Though my dad worked for Kroger and later owned a grocery store, meat on
the dinner table was not common, unless one considers canned meat as meat.
Spam, Vienna sausages, tuna, chili, and corned beef hash were consumed
occasionally, but if we had chicken, it was most often reserved for noon
on Sunday, and it was usually fried.
A few times each year, Mom made a batch of chicken and dressing (cornbread
dressing). Traditionally, Mom prepared chicken and dressing twice a year,
Thanksgiving and Christmas, and though my sister disputes me, I remember
Mom having chicken and dressing on some Easter Sundays. There may have been
other times during the year that Mom served chicken and dressing but with
one exception, it didnt happen often. That exception was Moms
birthday, which fell near the end of October.
As I mentioned earlier, we dont know when Moms birthday dinner
tradition began, as likely it happened so gradually that no one took note
of it. In fact, after her children were grown, we rarely celebrated her birthday
on the anniversary of her date of birth. Instead, she picked the Sunday closest
to her birthday, so that her children could be at home.
Other than at Christmas, I dont recall Mom getting presents from Dad
or her children, so perhaps cooking chicken and dressing on her birthday
was a present to herself. One thing is certain, Mom classified chicken and
dressing as "cold weather food." I dont know if her reasoning had to
do with cooking in a hot kitchen in the summertime or that she thought the
meal tasted better in the winter months. Perhaps, it was a comfort food prepared
by her mother who may also have reserved it for cold weather.
Late October in the Deep South hardly qualifies as cold weather, but Mom
considered it cold enough to prepare what, today, we might call one of her
signature dishes. Before she died, we, her children, came to view her birthday
dinner as her way of ushering in the Holiday Season. A holiday meal such
as Thanksgiving or Christmas came to be rather predictable. Chicken and dressing
would be the entrée. The trimmings included creamed potatoes, candied
sweet potatoes or a sweet potato casserole, English peas (canned), and cranberry
sauce, also canned. Sometimes an English pea or green bean casserole might
also be on the table. Depending on the occasion, desserts varied and could
include both pies and cakes. However, if Mom had plenty of sweet potatoes,
a sweet potato pie was almost a certainty.
Mom died of cancer two days before her 71st birthday in 1989,
but had she been well, she would have been preparing for her special dinner
rather than preparing for the hereafter. That year, Barbara decided she would
continue the tradition established by her mother-in-law, and we celebrated
Moms birthday in the usual manner, except for the sadness of our recent
loss. That Barbara accepted the mantle of continuing a tradition is appropriate
for she had Mom teach her how to make a decent batch of cornbread dressing
several years before Mom died.
In many ways, I find it remarkable that we have continued Moms birthday
tradition for the nineteen birthdays following her death. Sure, we enjoy
the food and fellowship and our reflections on the life of Frances Carter,
but one would think that at least one of those 19 years would have been
interrupted by some sort of tragedy. Thankfully, thats not been the
case.
This year, on Sunday, October 28th, Barbara and I had the privilege
of eating Moms traditional birthday dinner with nine other family members.
Jason made it back from his trip to Alabama just as we gathered for the blessing.
Rayanne, Anson, Merilese, and Katherine came from Belmont. Cullen and Felicia
drove over from Oxford. Anna and Sarah each drove less than a mile
While Moms basic menu for the dinner hasnt changed, a few items
show up each year to remind me that traditions, yes even family traditions,
are subject to the ever-changing likes and dislikes of family members. Believe
it or not, we have two family members who dont particularly care for
chicken and dressing, so Rayanne prepared a dish of poppy-seed chicken without
the poppy seeds.
Moms grandchildren and great grandchildren are the key holders of our
familys traditions, and while I doubt these will perpetuate our observance
of Moms special day, chances are good that other of our family traditions
will be celebrated by future generations. If not, the loss will be theirs,
and an important part of their heritage will have been erased by the passage
of time. At the least, I expect new traditions will emerge from the ranks
of my descendants.
Fork Mystery
Where Have They Gone
The 1960s were rich with the sounds not only of Rock n Roll but
of Folk Music, as well. Rock n Roll was birthed in the mid-fifties,
but Folk Music had been around for centuries. However, Folk Music experienced
a revival of sorts during the sixties.
Folk was the popular music of the Hippie generation and of the protestors
of the Vietnam Conflict. The revival of Folk Music with its harmony and gentle,
stringed instruments offered a pleasant alternative to the pulsating beat
of early Rock. Also, Folk Music, generally speaking, told a story that one
could often relate to and easily memorize.
One such tune, Where Have All The Flowers Gone, a Pete Seeger song,
was popularized by the Peter, Paul & Mary trio. The song expressed the
cyclic nature of love, life, and war. In its condensed form, the song is
composed of a series of questions and answers: Where have all the flowers
gone? Young girls have picked them everyone. Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the young girls gone? Gone for husbands everyone. Oh, when
will they ever learn?
Where have all the husbands gone? Gone for soldiers everyone. Oh, when will
they ever learn?
Where have all the soldiers gone? Gone to graveyards, everyone. Oh, when
will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone? Gone to flowers, everyone. Oh, when will
they ever learn?
Where have all the flowers gone? Young girls have picked them everyone. Oh,
when will they ever learn?
The somber truth of the tale is that we humans fail to learn from our mistakes,
those of others, or those of nations, and we are bound to repeat the mistakes
of those who have gone before us.
In a less dramatic sense, Im dealing with an unexplainable loss.
Had Jesus ever encountered this concern, he might have stated, "In my house
are many forks. I go to prepare a place for you, so that where I am there
ye may be also. However, of my many forks, some are missing."
To which Thomas would have complained, "We knowest not wither thou goest.
How can we know the way? But hey, we dont know nothing bout no
missing forks."
Had Pete Seeger been in my shoes, his flower song would have been titled,
"Where Have All Of My Forks Gone."
Theres enough flatware in my house to outfit at least three families.
Our oldest set of flatware is stainless, which we use for everyday. A newer
set, service for eight, is also stainless, but it is heavier and is used
whenever we have company, as the place settings are still complete. Our newest
is a silver-plated service for twelve that I chose as a gift from SUPERVALU
for thirty-five years of service. Its used for special occasions or
when were trying to impress someone. Come to think of it, the heavier
set, previously mentioned, was also a service premium for thirty years of
service.
Its the everyday set that puzzles me. I know that in our modern age,
appliances are more our enemies than our friends. After all, dont automatic
washing machines eat socks? Yet, Im not blaming our dishwasher for
our missing forks. Somehow, I dont believe there are any forks in the
bowels of the dishwasher.
Now, it could be my forks have turned into spoons, because a quick count
of spoons tallied 13 and a more thorough search revealed we have fourteen
spoons, all of the same pattern and manufacturer. Oddly, there are four dinner
knives, five dessert forks, five dinner forks, and eight soup spoons. Assuming
the original set of flatware was service for eight, there are six missing
forks and six extra spoons, which of itself is kind of scary.
Sure, theres a possibility that a couple of missing forks could be
in our guest house, because our son has been known to fix a plate of food
at our house and eat it at his house. However, the last time any of us helped
him tidy up the place, none of the missing flatware was found.
I cant believe the plate-washers and pot-scrubbers at my house are
so careless that flatware items were tossed into the trash, but I suppose
anything is possible. Believe it or not theres a spoon that belongs
to the mystery set lying on the floor beneath a kitchen cabinet. I dropped
it one night, and it bounced over the toe-board and disappeared beneath the
cabinet.
Bodock Beau It
Was No Accident
An insurance agent was talking to a farmer, trying to sell him a life insurance
policy.
"Have you ever met with an accident?" asked the insurance agent.
"No," replied the farmer, "but a mule kicked me in the ribs once, and a
rattlesnake bit me on the leg."
"Good grief!" exclaimed the agent. "Don't you consider those accidents?"
"Naw," said the farmer. "They done it on purpose."
Share this article with a friend.
Home
Copyright © 2000 - 2004 RRN
Online.