Jerry Bell Retires
After Forty-Eight Years
I don't know about others, but when
I learned my favorite undertaker was retiring, I experienced a pre-let down,
let down. That's my spin on an old joke about your undertaker being the last
person to let you down. As noted last week, my sister is also concerned that
Jerry Bell won't be the one in charge of her funeral. I suppose my let down
about Jerry's retirement is similar to that which I might experience in learning
that I have outlived the preacher I've chosen to perform my funeral ceremony.
That's not yet happened, but if it does, then I'll have to revise my funeral
plans.
For the past twenty-eight years, Jerry has been associated with Browning
Funeral Home of Pontotoc. However, when Barbara and I moved to Pontotoc in
1970, Baldwin Funeral Home of Pontotoc was his employer. His first work for
a funeral home dates back to 1959 when he was a high school junior at New
Albany. After graduating from high school, Jerry married Dot Hogue and then
took nursing courses at Northeast Junior College, Booneville, Mississippi
prior to enrolling in mortuary school in 1964.
Our respective families have been best friends for most of the years since
1970. Our children grew up in the same school system and the same church.
We've watched our own children learn to drive, graduate from high school,
and we’ve attended college graduations for some of them. We've seen
our children in love, out of love, married, divorced, remarried, and some
of them rearing children of their own. We've lost parents in death, and,
in the Bell's family, we've seen one of our children die. Jerry and Dot's
oldest son died in a car accident in 1988. Through it all, our faith, though
tested, remains our strength. We've cherished the good times and supported
each other in times of crises.
Browning Funeral Home honored Jerry with a retirement party at a local restaurant
a few weeks ago. Barbara and I were privileged to be among the four couples,
who were not family members or business associates that the Bell's chose
to invite for the event. It was a fun evening of good food and fellowship
with much good-natured laughter at Jerry's expense. He didn't get "roasted,"
but he bore the brunt of three of his boss's jokes.
Last Sunday, Jerry's family placed flowers in the sanctuary of First Baptist
Church in memory of their deceased son and to honor Jerry for his retirement.
Additionally, a reception was held Sunday afternoon in the new fellowship
hall at First Baptist Church. The reception was well attended.
Asked of his plans by a staff writer of the Pontotoc Progress (local newspaper),
Jerry responded, "We are going to take some trips and go places and do things
we haven't been able to do."
I asked Jerry about his retirement several weeks ago, and he shared that
he will continue to work, perhaps as much as twenty-two hours per week. With
that in mind, I believe my sister, will sleep better knowing that Jerry can
be called in to "fix her," according to her specifications, and for the immediate
future, I remain comforted that Jerry, likely, will be the last to let me
down.
Imus Isn’t
Shock Jock Ousted
I’m all for freedom of the press and freedom of speech, though in my
lifetime, I’ve witnessed the erosion of both, due largely to the torrential
rains of "political correctness." The recent brouhaha over radio "shock jock"
Don Imus’s derogatory comment concerning the Rutgers women’s basketball
team is but the latest of the erosion process. No, I’m not defending
Imus’ comments. He spoke irresponsibly, and it cost him his job. Yet,
his irresponsibility is no worse than that of the media and the self-appointed
leaders of black Americans who seize such opportunities to further their
own agenda.
The following comments are but a sampling from serious columnists and
entertainers:
"Depending on which TV show you tune into, what [Don] Imus said was wrong
because: (1) His show goes out on FCC-regulated airwaves; (2) he regularly
interviews people like Sens. John Kerry, John McCain and Joe Biden;
(3) he spoke at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner a few years ago;
or (4) he’s not black."
Ann Coulter, columnist
Radio "shock jock" Don Imus got an early start on retirement after calling
the Rutgers women’s basketball team "nappy-headed hos" on the air recently.
Because most of the team members are black, the media and professional race
hustlers (but we repeat ourselves) immediately ran with the case. CBS Radio
fired Imus for his botched joke a day after MSNBC dropped its simulcast of
the program.
In an effort to atone for his tongue, Imus even went so far as to submit
to an on-air verbal lynching on the racist Rev. Al $harpton’s radio
show. $harpton has since commissioned the thought police, saying, "It is
our feeling that this is only the beginning. We must have a broad discussion
on what is permitted and not permitted in terms of the airwaves." Tawana
Brawley was not available for comment.
$harpton and Je$$e Jack$on, famous for his "Hymietown" remark about New York
City, met with CBS executives and orchestrated another successful shakedown
to get Imus fired.
Opinion: Patriot Post, 07-15 Digest
"I am sick to death of Don Imus, and I’m tired of hearing his disgusting
rant against the Rutgers women’s basketball team. I don’t care
who fathered the daughter of trampy Anna Nicole Smith, nor was I interested
in what killed the blowsy blonde or where she would be buried. I don’t
need to know that the nutty astronaut who drove cross-country to confront
her lover’s other girlfriend wore diapers to cut down on her pit stops."
"Don’t get me wrong. For those people who want to know who’s
sleeping—or feuding—with whom in Hollywood, or have an endless
appetite for the macabre or just plain weird, there are plenty of resources
available to get their fix, from the relatively respectable People
magazine to the myriad pulp tabloids at the checkout stand, not to mention
shows like ‘Access Hollywood’ or cable channels like E! and Fox
Reality. But why must network news shows and serious newspapers, not to mention
cable news stations, cover these insignificant stories ad nauseam?"...
"We are becoming a nation of nincompoops... We live in a dangerous and
complicated world in which we’re asked to make difficult decisions with
too little information. The news media have always played an important role
in getting us the facts to inform those choices. But they are quickly abdicating
that role in lieu of entertaining us. It almost makes me hanker for the 15-minute
news broadcasts of my youth. At least Chet Huntley and David Brinkley could
be counted on to report real news and leave the entertainment to Ed Sullivan
and Sid Caesar."
Linda Chavez, columnist
"Somehow, even though he’s been fired and you’d think it would
all be over, the Imus story continues. This is the latest: Hillary Clinton
announced that she will now meet with the Rutgers women’s basketball
team. In a related story, Bill Clinton announced he’s going to meet
with the Rutgers women’s swimming, volleyball, and gymnastics teams."
Conan O’Brien, entertainer
Don Imus has been fired from MSNBC. I don’t know what he’s going
to do now, but I think he can rule out coaching basketball. I don’t
think Imus gets it. Like today, he blamed the whole thing on the Jewish-owned
media. Presidential candidate John Edwards said, regarding the Imus scandal,
he believes in forgiveness. Imus called Edwards to thank him and asked if
he knew of any radio jobs in that "other America" he’s always talking
about.
Jay Leno, entertainer
Tux Time
Measurements Needed
Let me see…the first time I wore a tuxedo was as best man at the wedding
of Jo Ellen Nettles and Tony Austin at First Baptist Church in Brandon,
Mississippi, circa 1968. The last time I wore a tux was as father of the
bride at my daughter’s wedding at First Baptist Church, Pontotoc in
1987. The next time I plan to wear a tux will be to give away my niece, Felicia
Brown, when she weds Cullen Pollard on June 9, 2007 at First Baptist Church,
Pontotoc. All totaled that’s three occasions in which I’ve worn
a tux. Hey, I just noticed my tux events are spaced almost exactly twenty
years apart.
Shortly after the official engagement of Felicia and Cullen, I was told I
needed to get measured for my tux at Reed’s in Tupelo. With the wedding
months away, I saw no rush to rush over to Tupelo, but it wasn’t long
before Felicia began to remind me to get measured.
A few weeks ago, Felicia stated, with a growing sense of urgency, "Uncle
Wayne, you and Brett and Jason need to get measured for your tuxes."
She knew the Saturday before Easter would be a good time, as Brett would
be home, and she reasoned the three of us could go together for the measuring
process. For reasons I don’t remember, none of us did so, and Felicia
wasn’t happy with us at the dinner table on Easter Sunday. However,
Brett planned to be back in Pontotoc the next weekend for his part in Bullard's
Crawfest in the Hurricane community.
I couldn’t take a chance on forgetting the chore the next weekend, so
I stopped by Reed’s on a return trip from Columbus, the Tuesday following
Easter. Jason and Brett didn’t fare as well.
Brett arrived in Pontotoc on Friday afternoon and ate a hamburger at my house
that evening. Early the next morning, he had all the symptoms of a stomach
virus and was in no shape to drive or ride to Tupelo with Jason. Jason made
it to Tupelo, only to have to stop abruptly in order to avoid an accident
and spilled his Sprite in his lap. Too embarrassed to be seen in public with
wet pants, he returned to Pontotoc, unmeasured, and with too little time
to make a second run to Tupelo before he had to meet other band members at
the Crawfest event.
After a trip to the emergency room at the local hospital, Saturday night,
Brett was well enough on Sunday afternoon to drive back to Pearl, but he
too was still unmeasured.
This week, Jason finally got himself measured for a tux, though Brett has
not, as of this article. I understand he plans to get measured at a department
store in Jackson and then call his measurements in to Reeds. If for any reason,
he doesn’t get this done this weekend, I have the feeling that his next
trip to an emergency room will be due to the wrath of Felicia and not that
of a stomach virus.
Bodock Beau
Blonde In The Everglades
We received the following "Blonde In The Everglades" joke from Vickey Murphree.
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on
vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the
worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors
were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers,
the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my
own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go
on and give it a try?"
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later
in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman
standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his
car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. The
blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.
Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde
struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, "Dang! This one's
barefoot, too!"
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