Toilet Paper Of
Interest To Many
This newsletter is also available on the
Internet. In the infancy of Ridge Rider News, I chose a free-to-members hosting
service provided by Compuserve.com. When CompuServe was purchased by America
Online, I decided to move my website to BellSouth Homepages. It was not until
I registered the domain name, rrnews.org, that I chose Yahoo.com to host
my website, and I continue to use Yahoo. Though, I’m told by my son
and my nephew that I could be paying less with a different provider.
Occasionally, I request a report from Yahoo that shows which pages on my
website receive the most visitors. The report also shows the name of the
Internet Service Provider (ISP) used to access my website, but there’s
no way to know the identity of the visitor.
I’ve been meaning to mention to Joel Hale that the article he made so
much fun of my having written on the subject of toilet paper is now one of
the most visited web pages of Ridge Rider News Online. Because a number of
folks consistently read the Internet version of this newsletter, I expected
the reports to reveal the current weekly issue as a frequently visited page.
What I didn’t expect to discover was the "toilet paper" article ranks
right alongside the current issue.
I’ve tried, unsuccessfully, for months to figure out why or how so many
visitors were finding the article. Internet search engines like Google, Ask
Jeeves, and Yahoo, will point web-surfers to my website if the search contains
the words "ridge rider," but I’ve never found my toilet paper article
using any search engine. It may actually be there, but if it’s buried
under a hundred thousand other "hits" or finds, I doubt anyone would ever
locate it. Most folks searching for something will peruse the first twenty
or so hits before giving up.
While there are subscription services that provide more details concerning
visitors to a given website, I'm not so curious about what folks find of
interest on my website that I’d be willing to spend money to find the
answers to my curiosity. But, I admit to wondering why the toilet paper article
received almost as many hits on a monthly basis as did the current issue
of this newsletter.
Three weekends ago, I registered for a free service named StatCounter.com,
which provides details such as how a visitor located my website. After a
couple of days, enough statistics were available to satiate my curiosity.
The statistics revealed that visitors to the toilet paper article had arrived
via a link on another website. It seems there’s a website that calls
itself the Virtual Toilet Paper Museum, and on its page titled, "The History
of Toilet Paper," one can find a link to my article. I did a search on Google.com
for "Toilet Paper" and very near the top of the list, second place as I recall,
the Virtual Toilet Paper Museum stood prominently. The virtual museum is
crammed full of information, but apparently some folks are such information
junkies their needs aren’t met until they’ve read everything the
museum offers as well as links to other websites.
I discovered that the visitors curious about toilet paper came from all parts
of the world. Here’s a recent sampling:
Los Angeles - Orlando - Ashdod Israel -
New Haven, Connecticut - Burlington, Vermont - Lecompton, Kansas - Singapore
- Visalia, California and Hong Kong.
At the time I wrote the article (referenced above) that presently receives
so many visitors, Coronet was my favorite brand of toilet tissue. I don’t
know if the company that manufactured Coronet discontinued the brand or if
all of the stores in my area stopped stocking it, but I can’t find it
anywhere.
The closest thing I’ve found to the Coronet brand is White Cloud. From
what I’ve read on the Internet, White Cloud is sold exclusively by Wal
Mart. While, my family has used White Cloud for a few years, it was only
recently that Barbara brought home White Cloud Ultra. Opening the first package,
I thought the rolls were smaller than normal, so I compared the diameter
of a new roll with an old one in the cabinet. Sure enough, the new roll was
smaller, but it turned out the sheets were triple-ply instead of two-ply.
I haven’t done the math, but I don’t believe the new toilet tissue
offers any price advantage or usage savings. However, it’s soft and
gentle, or is that another brand?
Toilet tissue is likely to remain a curiosity for many folks. My advice to
folks using Internet search engines is: "Be careful what you search for,
you just might find it, and it could one day be used against you in a court
of law." Why, just today, 03/14, Google is in court trying to quash a government
subpoena for search data involving user queries stemming from a separate
case that the government hopes will help their case against access to pornography
by children. Meanwhile, Internet users can expect to see further efforts
to erode an individual’s right to privacy on the Internet. If one is
prone to doubt "Big Brother" could ever happen in America, one can always
worry about what our world will be like when China is at the helm.
Sweet Teeth
By Sarah Carter Brown
I have often heard remarks that a particular dessert is too rich or too sweet.
Somehow I have never found a dessert that fit either of those categories.
I, however, have found a few desserts that were not sweet enough for my taste
or could use a dollop of whipping cream. Quite a few folks over the years
have looked at me aghast as I managed to scarf down a second helping of pie
or cake. I attribute the talent to genetics.
Mama Nona, my maternal grandmother, frequently commented about Uncle Dial's
sweet tooth. Dial was Mama Nona's brother who remained a bachelor until he
was well into his sixties, and she spent some time cooking for him during
his bachelor days. Mama Nona often had to put extra sugar in pies or cake
icings she made for him. The way I figure it, instead of inheriting just
one sweet tooth, I got a mouthful.
Diabetes would be a death sentence for me. I could never give up desserts.
I can do without bacon, sausage, and eggs for breakfast, just give me pancakes
and syrup. For lunch, I can pass up a salad in a heartbeat for a piece of
pie or cake. If I had to choose between steak or dessert for supper, I would
pick a piece of key lime pie or maybe cheesecake. A Snickers bar (or two)
for a snack between meals suits me fine.
Clearly, this has been a lifelong addiction for me. I came into this world
three weeks early with an incubator on standby. Daddy said it was downright
embarrassing to find that I was the biggest baby in the nursery after the
doctor had made such a fuss. How could something be too sweet for me if I
had no problem eating sugar straight from the sugar bowl as a toddler?
During my early teens, I remember Sara Ruth, my cousin, serving a
"knife-blade-thin" piece of cheesecake to me, as she stated that it was just
too rich to eat more than a tiny slice. Yeah, right. I could have eaten half
the whole thing without slowing down, but I was too polite to ask for seconds.
The only time in my life I almost overdosed on sweets was about 12 years
ago. Felicia, Pat Fannin, Patrick Parks, Pat's mother, and I gathered for
a pie bake. We had chocolate, caramel, strawberry, and coconut cream pies.
If memory serves me correctly, Pat's mother supplied the kitchen, and the
rest of us did the cooking. We each fixed a sampler plate and wolfed down
the selections with coffee and tea. I am not a drinker, but I remember hearing
others say one should never drink several different mixed drinks in one sitting
because the combination of liquor and flavorings is nauseating. I do not
know about the drinks, but take it from me mixing those flavors of pies certainly
made me queasy. However, I found that after a few minutes the symptoms passed,
and I was able to eat pie for dessert at my evening meal.
If there is ever any doubt as to whether I am dead or just unconscious, there
is no need for a brain scan. Save the money, and just wave a really rich
and sweet dessert under my nose. If I don’t ask for a generous helping
with a cup of coffee, you’ll know it’s time to pull the plug.
By Sarah Carter Brown
Vernal
Equinox Balance An Egg
Last December 21, I was in the checkout lane at Piggly Wiggly in Pontotoc.
I don’t have a photographic memory or the mental capacity to account
for my whereabouts on the twentieth or the twenty-second of December, but
the twenty-first is easy.
Speaking to the cashier, I stated, "Today is the winter solstice, isn’t
it?"
"The what?" she responded.
"The winter solstice," I replied, sensing she didn’t have a clue as
to what I was talking about.
"The first day of winter," I continued. "You know, the shortest day of the
year."
I wouldn’t call it a look of enlightenment that shone on her face; instead
her expression was more along the lines of "What makes you think I care about
that?"
I didn’t elaborate further but thought to myself, "Do our schools teach
kids any of the things I was taught?"
Where we live, in the northern hemisphere, the winter solstice has the fewest
hours of daylight, while the summer solstice in June has the most hours of
daylight. At one time, my younger brother, James, always tried to take one
of his weeks of vacation during the summer solstice, in order to spend more
time on the water in his boat.
My English-teacher sister, Sara Sue, has far less interest in "all things
science" than do I, but even she learned the days of the year that mark the
changes of seasons that we call solstices and equinoxes. Sara claims the
solstices and the equinoxes always fell on the twenty-first of the month
when she was growing up, and I was of the same notion, until I did some research.
Somehow, we only remembered those celestial markers of time that fell on
the twenty-first, but the times can occur a day or so on either side of the
twenty-first.
I have the feeling that the cashier at Piggly Wiggly would have suffered
information overload, had I engaged her in a discussion of the equinoxes,
the autumnal equinox and the vernal equinox, which fall in September and
March, respectively. Unlike the solstices, that define the greatest and least
hours of daylight, the equinoxes equally divide night and day.
Scholars believe the mysterious formation and placement of huge stones in
England, called Stonehenge, were placed by the ancients to mark the vernal
equinox, the beginning of spring.
Sara remembers the time Brett or Felicia brought home an issue of Weekly
Reader, challenging students to balance an egg on its end. Supposedly, the
first day of spring is the time to perform the feat. She said it took her
quite a few tries, but she was successful in balancing the egg on its end.
Her children were amazed.
A couple of weeks ago and with another spring fast approaching, she reminded
me of the egg-feat. Out of curiosity, I searched for information on the Internet
and discovered the first day of spring has nothing to do with it. From the
reports I read, the egg balancing feat can be done any day of the year, if
one has the patience for it. Yet, it’s probably done more on the first
day of spring than at any other time, because more people make the attempt.
This year, March 20th will mark the vernal equinox. If you care
to balance an egg on that day, you’ve as good a chance to do so as on
any other day of the year. However, if you’re unsuccessful, you just
may be frustrated enough to tell folks you tried to balance an egg during
the "infernal equinox." They are not likely to look at you any less strangely
than had you said vernal equinox.
Bodock Beau
Truth About Dogs
There are possibly more dog lovers than cat lovers. Among the jewels that
follow are a few reasons why.
The Truth About Dogs
The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his tongue. -Anonymous
I don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful. -Ann Landers
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings
The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney
We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam
Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who
are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. -Sigmund
Freud
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down. -Robert Benchley
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. -Franklin
P. Jones
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known
will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. -James Thurber
If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. -Unknown
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's
almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein
Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from
a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.
They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -Anne Tyler
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look
that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave
Barry
Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket
and then give him only two of them. -Phil Pastoret
If you own a dog, your goal in life should be to become as good a person
as your dog already thinks your are.
Jay Leno: In front of a crowd in Florida this past weekend, Al Gore
said that, "The people of the United States are going to stand up and take
our country back." And then the manager of the karaoke bar took the microphone
away and said, "Either sing or sit down buddy."
More problems for Hillary Clinton. The head of New York State's leading gay
rights group describes Hillary Clinton as a disappointment on same-sex marriage.
Today, her husband Bill described her as a disappointment on opposite-sex
marriage.
Mike Wallace is stepping down from "60 Minutes." What is he, 88 years old?
To give you an idea how long Mike's been around, when he first reported on
the war in Iraq it was called Mesopotamia.
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