RRN Online Volume 505

February 04 '06

Volume 505

Winter Fishing Joel & Wayne

No Snowscape For Us Last Friday night, I had hardly set down my computer bag and walked into the kitchen to see how supper was coming when Barbara told me that Joel Hale had phoned earlier and asked me to call him when it was convenient. I don’t phone Joel often enough to remember his number, so I looked at the caller ID on the kitchen phone then stepped into my computer room to phone him.

The drive from Indianola to Pontotoc had left me somewhat frustrated, as Friday evening traffic is sometimes prone to do, and I looked forward to relaxing in my office chair while talking to Joel.

Shirley Hale answered the phone and must have known her husband was trying to reach me, for when I told her who I was she said, "Here he is," and handed the phone to Joel.

"Did you ever locate a new propeller for the one that fell off the trolling motor?" he asked.

"I did look for one on the Internet during the holidays, but I wasn’t sure which one I needed," I responded. "To be honest, I guess I’d forgotten all about it until you asked."

Joel went on to explain that he had bought one that didn’t fit and had called the customer service number on the package and was successful in getting the correct one ordered.

"I put it on and checked it out, yesterday," Joel stated. "I just wanted you to know I had found one so you wouldn’t buy one, too."

Having settled our propeller problem, we turned our thoughts to fishing.

"I’m looking at the WTVA website, right now. It says today is a good day for fishing," I shared. "Do you reckon it’ll be good tomorrow?"

"I don’t know, but I’m willing to try it," he replied. "It’s supposed to rain though."

I quickly checked the online forecast.

"Yeah, but it says p.m. Maybe, we could go early before the rain arrives."

"Sure, but don’t make it too early."

"Oh, I’m thinking of about eleven, but I’ll call you before I leave the house in the morning."

Now that he’s retired, Joel says he stays up until midnight and sleeps in until around ten. That way he can eat breakfast, skip lunch, and enjoy an early supper, his biggest meal of the day.

"But, if you eat at four or five in the afternoon, don’t you get hungry before bedtime?" I quizzed.

"Not always, but if I do, I grab something healthy, like a piece of fruit."

On Saturday morning, I made sure I had my visiting routine finished by ten o’clock, which gave me plenty of time to load my fishing gear and get to Joel’s before eleven.

"Just drive up to the house," I remembered him saying, "We’ll put everything in my truck and I’ll drive us down to the lake."

One actually does "drive up" to Joel’s house, which sits on a hilltop, and drive "down" to the lake, which is a few hundred yards downhill and behind his house. There are at least three different ways to get to the lake, but for some reason of late, Joel prefers the longest route. Perhaps, since Joel’s taken to piddling with wildlife management on his hundred-acre place, he likes to check on his quail feeders and deer stand with the possibility of seeing some wild critters.

While I tried to phone Joel before I left my house, his line was busy. (Shirley, I’m sure, had it tied up.) I grabbed a pack of somebody’s country ham from the refrigerator in our carport just as I was leaving, hoping Joel’s dietary regimen would allow such an indulgence. I may have disappointed a few folks this past holiday season for I deleted a lot of files on my home computer and my "ham list" was one of them. Somehow, I still have leftover ham after slicing five country hams, one fewer than I prepared in ’04.

Joel met me near his backdoor, and I soon learned he was allowed to eat country ham.

"Shoot yeah! I can eat it," he declared, joyously. "Man, I love country ham. Thanks."

After briefly speaking to Shirley, I was ready to get on the water. Joel and I stowed my gear in the back of the pickup and drove (the long route) toward the lake.

"Somebody came around this curve too fast the other night," Joel shared. "You can see where they left the road and scraped my fence. Don’t you know that made some kind of racket?"

The fence, a holdover from Joel’s cattle-raising days, was three strands of barbed wire stretched across metal posts, and it parallels the road that runs past his house. Four or five posts had been damaged, but it was the last one that looked the roughest. The bumper of the vehicle or something had struck the last post hard enough to leave a u-shaped impression a foot or so above the ground.

Driving through sparsely wooded pastureland, we passed a deer stand.

"I had a shot at a bobcat, from that deer stand, the other day," Joel shared. "But, my cartridge wasn’t all the way in the chamber. By the time I got the gun ready to fire, I’d missed the opportunity."

I don’t know about Joel’s dancing skills, but he beautifully choreographed our way to the lake, weaving past the mud holes and avoiding the ruts as he snaked his pickup along first one trail, then another, until we arrived on the levee.

"If it rains, can you get back up this hill?" I asked, referring to a particularly slick section of the trail.

"I can if I leave out before much rain falls," he laughed.

I took that to mean we’d be leaving at the first sign of rain.

We were actually fishing by eleven o’clock, sooner than I had anticipated, and though the rain also came sooner than we anticipated (around two p.m.) we still got in plenty of fishing. Currently, Joel has bass, bream, and crappie in his lake, but we had geared up for bass and were not disappointed.

The new propeller for the trolling motor made navigating the ten-acre lake a pleasure, especially with a fully charged battery.

I wore a new fishing cap that Jim Hess had sent me. It has flaps to shield my neck and ears from sun or wind. I told Joel that I probably embarrassed Jim the last time we fished a public lake, as I had draped a towel under my cap to shield my ears from the cold. About then I remembered that, in my haste to leave, I had left my camera at home. Thus, this article contains no pictures of our fish or us.

I was preparing to return the first fish I caught, when Joel stated, "Keep a mess for yourself, if you want some."

"Thanks, but it’ll just be Barbara and me for supper. Jason’ll probably go to Columbus. Sarah’s working, and Rayanne’s bunch is out of state. Cleaning fish is almost too much trouble for just two folks to eat. Now, if Hess were here to clean ‘em for me, I might keep a few. Anyway, once I put any fish in the freezer, it's hard for me to get them out."

For the next three hours, we had about as much fun as two old men can have in a boat in the dead of winter. We covered topics ranging from lure-selection for wintertime fishing to pesky wildlife, such as beaver and otter. We laughed at each other for letting a few fish get off the hook before getting them in the boat. We bathed in the beauty of our surroundings and marveled at how the wind seemed to swirl from first one direction and then the other. We even solved some of the problems of our church, at least to our way of thinking anyway. We had a great time.

I decided then and there that I'm going to fish more this year than I did last year. I've not figured out how I'll find the time to do so, but I'm working on it.

It had only begun to mist when we left the lake, and we had no trouble getting back to the main road.

"What's that purple looking bushy stuff?" I asked, peering down the hillside as we passed the deer stand.

"That's wild plums." Joel responded.

"Edible ones?"

"Yeah. Some are red plums and some are yellow. They're good, if you get them before they get wormy."

Turning a corner, Joel pointed out a blackberry patch and another thicket of plums.

"Now, that briar patch straight ahead has berries that ripen earlier than the others. They are called dew berries and are bigger than the regular blackberries."

Back at Joel's house, it didn’t take long to get my fishing gear into my car. I thanked Joel for the enjoyable outing, noting I'd see him at church the next day. As I opened the door to the driver's side, I saw a jar of fig preserves on the seat, which obviously Shirley had put there.

"Tell Shirley thanks for the preserves," I shouted, getting into the car.

Some folks are like that. If you give them something, they'll find a way to give you something in return.

State Of The Union Speech Excerpts

All of the following quotes are excerpts from President Bush's State Of The Union address last night.

"In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate. But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger."

"Far from being a hopeless dream, the advance of freedom is the great story of our time. In 1945, there were about two dozen lonely democracies on Earth. Today, there are 122."

"We are the Nation that saved liberty in Europe, and liberated death camps, and helped raise up democracies, and faced down an evil empire. Once again, we accept the call of history to deliver the oppressed, and move this world toward peace."

"Along the way [in Iraq], we have benefited from responsible criticism and counsel offered by Members of Congress of both parties... Yet there is a difference between responsible criticism that aims for success, and defeatism that refuses to acknowledge anything but failure. Hindsight alone is not wisdom. And second-guessing is not a strategy."

"If there are people inside our country who are talking with al-Qa'ida, we want to know about it—because we will not sit back and wait to be hit again."

"[O]ur economy grows when Americans have more of their own money to spend, save, and invest... I urge the Congress to act responsibly, and make the tax cuts permanent."

"[T]he Federal budget has too many special interest projects... We must also confront the larger challenge of mandatory spending, or entitlements."

"Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security, yet the rising cost of entitlements is a problem that is not going away—and with every year we fail to act, the situation gets worse."

"The Supreme Court now has two superb new members, Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Sam Alito. I thank the Senate for confirming both of them. And I will continue to nominate men and women who understand that judges must be servants of the law, and not legislate from the bench."

Bodock Beau Medical Insurance Explained

Frustrated with rising costs of health care? You are not alone. Thankfully, help is on the way. For starters, here's a dummy's guide for understanding medical insurance.

MEDICAL INSURANCE EXPLAINED

Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his

foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomachache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q. Will health care be different in the next century?

A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

David Letterman: "Top Surprising Facts About Osama Bin Laden":

Plans to release next threatening videotape in high-definition.

Secretly likes Kosher pickles.

Middle name: Duane.

Stole "Death to America" catchphrase from Fran Tarkenton.

Got cave hooked up with Sirius so he can listen to Howard Stern.

Has a bumper sticker that reads, "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry."

The son-of-a-b**** is still alive!

Jay Leno: President Bush gave his State of The Union address. He...[repeated] several universal truths; all people deserve to be free, democracy is good, and the most important truth—never lie to Oprah!

Happy Birthday to Vice President Dick Cheney. Or as they call him in Washington, the Fresh Prince of Intensive Care. That's his rap name.

Hillary Clinton called President Bush's eavesdropping explanations "strange" and "far-fetched." And if anyone has heard strange far-fetched explanations from a president, it's Hillary Clinton. She knows what she is talking about.

Exxon recorded record profits for 2005—over $36 billion dollars in profits. I'm as shocked as you are. Who would have thought they would have benefited from selling gas for three dollars a gallon?

At a press conference yesterday NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming is so bad, if the presidential election were held today, Al Gore would...still lose.

Al Gore is writing his second book on global warming. It's called, "The Earth is Warming, My Career is Cooling."

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