Beau Sent To Iraq For Our Deployed Troops
Virginia Dillard is one of Pontotoc's more active octogenarians and is actively involved in the work of the Pontotoc Historical Society, where she employs her powers of persuasion to enlist volunteers to participate in historical presentations and re-enactments. Miss Virginia and a group of volunteers meet each Wednesday in Pontotoc, for the purpose of bagging and distributing personal need items to our deployed troops, particularly members of the 155th Regiment who are from Pontotoc and Pontotoc County. A few weeks ago, Miss Virginia approached me and asked if I would be willing to aid their work by sharing something from my weekly newsletter, preferably of a humorous tone "Just something on one page is all we need," she shared. "The troops enjoyed getting letters from the children at school, but we were talking among ourselves the other day, and someone suggested contacting you to see if you'd put together some of your Bodock Beau jokes for the troops. You could use some of you old issues and no one would know the difference." After a few questions on my part, I told Miss Virginia that I would put something together and get it to her by the weekend. I think the part that made my decision an easy one was in knowing I could use old material as well as current jokes from Beau's portion of RRN. As for the layout of the new publication, it's quite similar to that of the first page of this newsletter, the main difference being the title, "RRN's Bodock Beau." And, instead of continuing to use "Rooted In The Land Of The Hanging Grapes," was replaced by "Straight From The Land Of The Hanging Grapes." Perhaps, the troops from Pontotoc will share with their friends the relevance of "the land of hanging grapes." In the event copies of RRN's Bodock Beau should fall into the hands of terrorists, I didn't want to make it easy for them to find me, so at the bottom of the page, the credits have been changed to state:
Bodock Beau Volume 1 of this new publication appeared on February 05, with Volume 4 due on February 26. Beau and I hope the thoughts and humor shared in this new publication will help the days pass quickly for our deployed troops. Persons interested in helping the volunteers who are sending baggies of personal need items to our troops should contact Virginia Dillard, Barbara Baldwin, or Helen Gregory. That which they have undertaken requires both money and time, so any help or donation is appreciated.
Passport Problem Radar Detector Malfunctions Shortly after "going on the road" for SUPERVALU, I developed a craving to own a radar detector. Perhaps, I wanted one because some of my friends had won one in an Armour meat promotion, and I was envious. I really don't remember what prompted me to shell out some major bucks for an Escort radar detector, but I felt I could justify the expense of the radar detector if it prevented me from getting a speeding ticket or two. At the time, Escort ruled the world of radar detectors and topped the lists in Consumer Reports. From what I could read, Escort was simply the best choice in radar detectors. Yes, they were pricey, but they could be purchased straight from the manufacturer. I ordered one and am convinced it was a good decision. In the eyes of some folks, I became a life of crime right then and there. One of my favorite retailers, P. E. Townsend of Columbus, used to ride with me when I was visiting his stores. Mr. Ed loved to tease folks, and I was no exception. Teasing was, for Mr. Ed, a sport, and it was a sport in which he excelled. Whenever he wanted to pick on me, he usually opened with my last name. "Mr. Carter," he would say, pointing to my visor mounted radar detector. "When you left home this morning, you intended to break the law." "Now, Mr. Ed," I would protest, "It's not illegal to have a radar detector. Radar is a type of radio wave and a radar detector is a special radio that receives the radar transmissions." No amount of justification on my part would satisfy him, and he would always point out, "You're a lawbreaker." Of course, he laughed every time he teased me about having a radar detector as though he was telling me for the first time. Many of us "old guys" learned to drive prior to the oil shortage of the seventies. We grew up driving on narrow two-lane roads where the speed limit was sixty-five. We resented the Federal Government lowering the speed limit to fifty-five and forcing states to comply by withholding highway funds from states who failed to abide by the rules. Even though it turned out there was no oil shortage, the speed limit was held to fifty-five on most roads. Therefore, we "old guys" don't consider ourselves speeding unless we're traveling faster than sixty-five on a two lane highway. Unfortunately, most state troopers don't agree with us. Not all state troopers are created equal, and while those in the Delta take little note of motorists running sixty-five and sometimes seventy miles per hour, the ones in the Hills and other parts of the state do. Thus, it makes sense to have a radar detector to help level the playing field. My attitude is "If my speed is being checked, I have a right to know it." The Escort that I purchased in 1982 served me well for fifteen or so years, but in it's later years it developed the tendency to chirp for no reason. My wife heard me complaining about the false alerts one day and presumed I wanted a new detector. Then, to my surprise, she gave me a Passport (made by Escort) for Christmas. Barbara spared no expense in purchasing the top of the line model with a "smart cord" accessory. The smart cord allowed the detector to be muted remotely and had a light that flashed a warning also remote from the detector itself. This allowed the detector to be operated in stealth mode, meaning other motorists were not aware the dash-mounted detector was on and were less likely to depend on me to run interference for them. The Passport that Barbara gave me has held up well through the years, until recently. I was on a parking lot in Columbus, MS and noticed the motion-sensor doorway to the Sunflower Store was not affecting my detector. I presumed wrongly that it was due to my parking further from the door than normal. A few days later, I was traveling on I-59 through Laurel, MS. The highway department keeps radar trained on traffic approaching a sharp curve, and a pole mounted display on the shoulder of the road alerts motorists of their speed. Normally, my radar detector goes crazy with noise when a radar signal is received, but I noticed there were no alerts from the detector even though I could see my speed decreasing on the pole mounted display. Less than five miles up the road, I passed a state trooper sitting in the median facing my direction and who appeared to be there for the purpose of checking for speeders, but my radar detector gave no indication radar was present. I decided it might be time for a new radar detector. I changed my mind when I checked the prices of the newest Passport models and elected to contact Escort to see if out of warranty repair was an option. A really helpful customer service representative listened to my problem and explained that my Passport could be repaired and updated with the newest technology for less than fifty dollars. I boxed up the unit that day and Barbara mailed it the next day. That was ten days ago, and the repaired unit was received today. I guess one could say that I've been running scared, scared I'd be caught speeding, while waiting on my Passport to be repaired. With or without a radar detector, I try not to drive more than ten miles per hour above the posted speed limit. Yet, sometimes I find myself in a reduced speed zone before I realize it, and it's in that kind of a situation that I find a radar detector most useful in letting me know if a city policeman or trooper is nearby. Barbara sent Bodock Beau an email the other day that contained humorous things not to say to a policeman if one gets pulled over. One such no-no was, "Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in." I figured if I got stopped for speeding while my detector was in for repairs, I could say, "Sorry officer, but my radar detector's in the shop for repairs." Fortunately, I didn't have such an opportunity.
Bodock Beau Gotta Love Them Texans Most folks know to keep quite, speak when spoken to, and always show respect for a law officer, especially when one pulls you over. But, for the uninformed, the following admonitions are shared.
Never Say To A Cop
Contributed by Barbara Carter Gotta Love Them Texans Bubba and Billy Bob were in a local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn each had won a prize. Billy Bob won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great, I love spaghetti!" Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How about you? How's the toilet brush?" "Not so good," replied Bubba. "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."
Contributed by Ken Gaillard Share this article with a friend.
Copyright © 2000 - 2005 RRN Online.
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Her powers of persuasion are formidable. I'm not the first person
to recognize the ease with which Virginia Dillard spins the web that will
eventually render her "victims" helpless. Though, I may be the first to note
it's easier to say no to God than to Miss Virginia. With God, at least He
let's me think through the proposition and, if I say no, has a more forgiving
spirit than Miss Virginia does. That's my perception, anyway. But, to be
honest, I've never said no to Miss Virginia.
