RRN Online Volume 437

October 16 '04

Volume 437

New Stove Whirlpool Accubake

Installed and Ready To some extent we are all guilty of purchasing something we don’t need, and I’ve noted the tendency to satisfy a want rather than an actual need in earlier articles. Children experience difficulty in differentiating between a need and a want. One doesn’t have to visit a mass merchandiser, like Wal Mart, every day in hope of observing a child crying because his or her mom or dad didn’t buy whatever it was the child wanted, such is the case on most visits.

"You don’t need that toy," the parent explains. "You’ve got plenty of toys at home."

"Uh-uh, I don’t," wails the wee one.

"Well, I’m not buying it for you today," insists the parent.

"Waahhh!"

Though presented briefly here, similar scenes that play much longer occur daily. Only the faces of the participants and the objects of desire vary.

Most children learn they are not allowed to have everything they want, but few are able to accept the fact they do not "need" everything. In affluent America, it’s a lesson we adults often fail to learn, as well. Unlike children, adults have money or credit that gives them the purchasing power to influence the outcome of a "need-want" situation.

For most adults, the question is not so much, "Do I need it?" as "Do I want it badly enough to go into debt in order to have it?"

I would hate to see a list of all the things I’ve bought during the course of my lifetime, but I know the list would include three of the most basic human needs, food, clothing, and shelter. Surely, I’ve bought a lot of food I didn’t need, but it was something I wanted at the time. Clothing is different in that it’s not something in which I seek a lot of variety, plus, I don’t like to shop for clothes. Shelter comprises the most expensive of my needs, but I could easily get by with much less, and for most of my life I have managed with far less expensive shelter. However, if medical care or nursing home care doesn’t force me to sell this place, it will be my children’s inheritance.

Outside of meeting basic human needs, I’m sure I would be embarrassed by all the things I’ve bought, simply because I wanted them. Other than this newsletter, my only hobby is fishing. I have a small fishing boat that sits on the bank at Joel Hale’s lake, most of the time, and it’s rare that I use it more than once a year. I have fishing lures in my tackle box that have not been in the water and are still in their original packaging.

My wife is fond of pointing to my commercial meat slicer as an example of her husband’s wants overpowering his needs. Yet, she’s quick to forgive my shortcomings when the aroma of country ham (sliced on the commercial slicer), frying in the skillet, fills the kitchen.

It takes a lot of yard tools to maintain the grounds, here in Dogwood Circle, and I don’t have all I need (want). However, I have two lawn mowers, two sets of gas-powered hedge trimmers, two tree limb trimmers, two hoes, and three shovels not to mention a seldom-used chain saw.

Until recently, we had two coffee makers sitting side by side on the kitchen cabinet. Like the refrigerator now in our garage, one was kept when we sold our house in Greenville. A spare coffee maker and a spare refrigerator are like money in the bank, "there when you need it."

When we bought our present house and guest house, I noted the kitchen appliances (stove, dishwasher, and microwave) in both were identical and thought how handy it would be whenever an appliance in the main house needed replacing a spare could be found in the guest house. But, it hasn’t worked out as I’d planned. We replaced the old dishwasher with a new one a couple of years ago, and this year a new stove was purchased. The dishwasher was worn out, but the purchase of a new stove was more of a want than a need. The old stove worked perfectly fine, but Barbara made a list of home improvements in late spring or early summer, and a new stove was near the top of her list. Guest House Stove

When Barbara mentioned wanting a new stove, I quizzed her as to why we needed a new one.

"Is there something wrong with the oven?"

"No, but a couple of the burners are acting up."

I cook about as often as Barbara, and while one of the burners had a tendency to remain hotter than it should on "low," I figured we could replace the burner. After all, if a child "acts up," corrective measures are a better choice than replacement. But, of course, I’ve learned that some thoughts are better kept to myself.

"That’s all?" I asked.

"No, it’s too hard to keep clean. When something boils over, it runs under the burners."

Finally, I had discovered the real reason a new stove was needed; the mother lode excuse women rely upon to justify change is "too hard to keep clean." Hardwood floors were once popular but became "too hard to keep clean," thus a lot of beautiful wood flooring was covered with carpet. Carpets don’t show dirt as readily as wood flooring, but guess what? Carpeting is "too hard to keep clean." Carpeting has to be vacuumed frequently to remove dirt. Carpeting has to be shampooed or steam cleaned to remove stubborn stains and smelly odors. Carpeting is just as hard to keep clean as wood flooring and guess what? More and more folks are choosing wood flooring to replace carpet.

One Saturday morning, not long after Barbara and I discussed a new stove, we drove down the highway to see if Derwood Young at Young’s Appliances had a stove like Barbara wanted. She found one, but it was a top-of-the-line model with a self-cleaning oven and a glass or ceramic cooking surface.

Not wanting to miss a sales opportunity, Derwood quickly figured what he could "let it go for." I had enough money in savings to buy the stove that day, but knowing the annual fish fry was fast approaching, I told Derwood we’d have to think about his offer.

A couple of weeks later, I dropped in to see Derwood, and the stove was still available. We made a deal, and he agreed to hold the stove for me for a few more weeks, until I withdrew the money from savings to purchase everything for the fish fry and the stove. Thus, two weeks before the fish fry, the new stove was delivered and installed. The old stove was carted off to storage and is now for sale.

We are enjoying the features of the new stove. The upper rack in the oven has a removable section that allows a large roaster to sit on the lower rack without removing the upper rack. The split rack may have been designed with a Thanksgiving turkey in mind, but I’ve used the feature to cook a pork roast in my cast iron Dutch oven. Barbara likes the easy cleanup afforded by the flat cooking surface, which after all is the reason we needed a new stove to begin with.

As mowing "the circle," more often than not, finds itself as my responsibility, I may have to employ the "too hard to keep clean" excuse with respect to the mower deck. Why, I’d go so far as to say a bigger lawnmower with a bigger deck would be easier to keep clean. And, a bigger lawnmower would be faster, and a bigger deck would cut a wider swath, and I’d have more time to cook…oops! Never mind.

Meeting Bryce By Barbara Carter

After my very eventful flight to Dallas a couple of weeks ago, I returned to the Dallas Ft. Worth Airport for my flight back home. I was sitting in the gate area, since I had arrived about an hour and a half before my flight, just people watching and doing some reading. I noticed a lady in maybe her mid forties walking across the gate's seating area. Following her was a young man who appeared to have a physical infirmity. They went to the far side of the seating area, which could have been for the gate next to mine.

I had a fleeting thought of wondering who they were, where they might be going, what his condition might be and maybe how they were related, then I returned to my reading.

Not long afterward the announcement came to start boarding my flight. As soon as my row designation group was called, I made my way to the gate and onto the plane. My seat was an aisle seat (I request aisle seats when making my reservations). On this particular size plane there were two inside seats adjacent to mine. I sat down, but did not buckle my seat belt, because I knew someone would most likely be along any moment to take the two inside seats and I would have to get up to let them in to their seats.

After a few minutes I noticed two ladies standing in the aisle looking at their tickets and checking the numbers above the seats. They held three tickets, two of which were the seats next to me and one was two rows up from our row. I stood up and stepped out into the aisle to let the two passengers move past me to their seats, while one of the ladies moved back up the aisle to the center seat two rows ahead of ours.

I don't know exactly when I noticed that the two passengers next to me were the lady and young man I had seen in the gate area, but before I took my seat again, the young man, seated next to me now, turned, smiled, held out his hand and said, "Hi, I'm Bryce."

I said, "Hello, Bryce. I'm Barbara," and I took my seat.

I asked Bryce where he was headed and he said, "St. Louis."

I asked if that was home or was he going there on a trip. He informed me that they had been to Dallas to visit his uncle, a brother to his mom. Mom was in the window seat. We engaged in a nice friendly conversation about their trip, how long they had been there, what they did, and their amazement that they were already headed home following a short week's visit.

Somehow in the conversation, I learned that Bryce had a brain tumor when he was 2½ years old and that the doctors did not expect him to survive surgery to remove the tumor. He did, but due either to the tumor itself or from the surgery, Bryce suffered from loss of motor skills. His mind was very much intact, but he has difficulty with balance.

Bryce is now 24 years old and he told me that he goes to a facility that works with mentally and physically challenged individuals, providing them with life skills for a productive life. Bryce did not know how long he would be able to work at this facility. Mom, who works at an automotive body shop to support them, explained some of the struggles she had, apparently rearing Bryce alone. Three years ago, Bryce went into a coma and again the doctors did not expect Bryce to recover. He did.

I said, "Bryce, God has something planned for you to do."

"I know," Bryce smiled. "We just don't know yet what it is. Mom calls me her young Lazarus." A big smile spread across his face.

Bryce's grandfather is German, and it was he who taught Bryce his first German word. This spurred an eagerness in Bryce to learn to speak German, so he has enrolled in a German class at a local community college. He had his textbook with him and studied some during the flight.

As I was discussing with Bryce his position at the facility where he works, I told him that he should tell the director there that he wants the boss's job, so he can stay on longer.

"After all, Bryce," I said, "you do have a mother to support, you know."

Bryce laughed, and Mom said, "I like that idea."

Bryce's mom told me that her brother, who lives in Dallas, has a daughter who is a senior at Ole Miss. I told her that I, too, have a niece who is a senior at Ole Miss and suggested to Bryce that if he comes for his cousin's graduation, maybe we will meet again.

I left that flight in Memphis, going to my gate for the flight back into Tupelo, but not before I wished Bryce and his mom a goodbye and a safe trip to St. Louis.

That flight was energizing for me. I enjoyed meeting Bryce, his mom, and briefly his aunt, and getting to know a little more about them. I have tremendous admiration for that mom and her family. What a challenge, but what a joy!

Bodock Beau Redneck Humor

Redneck jokes abound. Two readers shared these.

REDNECK ETIQUETTE

GENERAL OCCASIONS:

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.

3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT:

1. When pouring wine from the box, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.

2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME:

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.

2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE:

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.

DATING (Outside the Family):

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

2. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday," If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

WEDDINGS:

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.

3 Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING:

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.

2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.

3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

Submitted by H.P. Prewett

REDNECK VACATION

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

Submitted by Ken Gaillard

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