Jenny Craig
A Balanced Plan
It’s no
secret
that Americans have a weight problem. There are a number of reasons why
individuals gain weight, and they include overeating and eating the wrong
foods. The lack of exercise plays a role in the weight problem of the typical
American. In my case, I don’t overeat so much as I eat too many foods
with a high fat content, and the rest of the foods I eat probably contain
too much sugar to be good for me. Additionally, I lead a relatively sedentary
lifestyle. Throw in the fact that I don’t exercise with any degree of
regularity, and it’s easy to explain why I’m a little "overweight."
Don’t call me fat, or you’ll hurt my feelings, because I don’t
think I’m fat. I can show you fat, and it doesn’t look like me.
Year-round, I’m able to maintain an average weight of 210 lbs. I’ll
drop down around 200 for a month or two, and during the holiday season,
I’ll notice the scales creep up uncomfortably close to 215. It’s
been a while since I had a thorough physical exam and blood cholesterol
screening, but I don’t have a history of high cholesterol and don’t
consider myself a candidate for a heart attack.
Were I to discover that I have diabetes or learn I had a few major arteries
nearly clogged, then I’d get serious about dropping a few pounds. However,
dieting is something I don’t do well and probably won’t seriously
consider unless I’m confronted with a life-threatening situation.
Unlike me, Barbara Anne occasionally deals with her weight problem through
a special diet. She tried the Atkins plan a few years ago and was having
some success, until she began to experience problems with her stomach. She
soon shelved that program based on her belief that losing weight was not
worth the stomach problems. She might have kept her weight under control
had it not been for the Blue Bell brand ice cream that I kept bringing home
to enjoy as an after-dinner-before-bedtime treat. While ice cream treats
helped me maintain my weight, they helped Barbara regain that which she had
lost.
Barbara’s niece, Cheryl, joined the Jenny Craig weight loss program
around five years ago and lost what I thought was too much weight, getting
to the point of looking almost anorexic before deciding enough was enough.
Cheryl learned to eat the right foods and to control the portion sizes of
those foods. She’s still thinner than I think she should be, but she’s
happy with her weight loss and her decision to control her weight by changing
to a healthier lifestyle.
Given Cheryl’s success with the Jenny Craig program, I imagine she was
Barbara’s inspiration to try a new diet. The Jenny Craig program is
neatly packaged, and, for beginners, includes weekly menus and almost all
of the food and snacks needed to sustain a serious dieter. The program also
includes literature advocating a healthy lifestyle. Barbara has been assigned
a personal counselor, whom she reports to each week via telephone. The counselor
provides answers to Barbara’s questions and advises her on food
substitutions when dining out. Barbara tells me her counselor said she could
begin eating foods other than those sold by Jenny Craig once she reaches
fifty percent of her targeted weight loss. Until a client reaches half of
the desired weight loss, Jenny Craig counselors insist the client adhere
to the boxed entrees and frozen dinners sold exclusively by Jenny Craig.
After being on the Jenny Craig program for four weeks, Barbara has lost twelve
pounds, which is twenty-five percent of the amount she has targeted to lose.
Barbara’s food allowance of 1200 calories per day is less than some
of my meals, but the program is working for her. She says that all the food
tastes good, except for the veggie burger. She doesn’t go hungry, and
she’s learning how to handle the occasional food craving. I’ve
told her that I’m proud of her progress and fully expect her to reach
her goal in a reasonable timeframe.
As for me, I don’t expect I’ll be dieting anytime soon. Anyway,
I burn off most of my calories working outside on weekends in my yard,
Sarah’s yard, and cutting the circle. I even burn a few calories putting
together this newsletter. Why, if it were not for the occasional bowl of
Blue Bell’s Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream, I might be well on my way to
my target of 165 lbs.
Surprises
Life Supplies Plenty
Life is full of surprises, and weather is a good example. It’s now apparent
that the weather for August 2004 will be as much a surprise as that of July
2004, when July was slightly wetter than normal. Thus far, August has been
cooler than normal. It’s certainly not every August in which residents
of north Mississippi can enjoy early evening temperatures in the low seventies.
It’s only the second week of August and already we’ve had several
mornings and evenings of what most of us consider as fall weather.
Barbara and I drove two of my bosses to the Memphis airport on Sunday following
the Saturday evening fish fry. Before returning to Pontotoc, we invited Cheryl,
Barbara’s niece, to join us for lunch in Horn Lake, MS. Afterwards,
Barbara and I stopped by Cheryl’s house in Southaven to view her new
sun porch. The addition has a metal roof, and the walls are screened to prevent
insects from pestering anyone wanting to enjoy refreshments on the patio.
Because Cheryl’s patio furniture now has a roof over it, she no longer
needed the umbrella that once kept sunshine from broiling persons seated
around the patio table, and she asked if we’d like to have it for our
patio table. We accepted her offer and a few hours later unloaded the umbrella
in our garage. Cheryl had forgotten to include the pin that locks the umbrella
in an open position, but she mailed it to us a few days later.
I don’t know if it was the excitement of having an umbrella on our patio
table or if the unusually mild afternoon temperatures were the impetus for
me asking my family to dine on the patio a few evenings ago. Sarah and Felicia
were over, and everyone except Jason was enthused about eating outside. The
simple meal of burgers, fries, and onion rings was well suited for outdoor
consumption. Following the meal, Sarah, Felicia, Barbara, and I remained
on the patio until darkness and mosquitoes ran us inside.
Life is full of surprises, but some are more pleasant than others. The older
I get, the more I appreciate structure and order in my life. One place I’ve
come to expect structure and order is the Baptist church. As long as we’ve
been having church, you’d think we’d have it down pat by now. It's
true that each local Baptist church is free to determine its own version
of structure and order, but once folks get the kinks out, things should run
smoothly.
A few years ago the Baptist church, where I’m a member, purchased some
audio visual aids. I’m not sure why it was done, but I’ve a strong
suspicion that somebody from our church went to a convention and heard or
saw a Power Point presentation or video clip on a big screen and came back
on fire to do something similar at our church. Thus, periodically, but with
no particular rhythm that I can discover, the big screen goes up for a slide
show or video presentation. There was a time when Baptist could worship without
audio visual aids, but that’s a time, which is fast becoming a memory
for those of us over fifty.
I may one day discover that I can worship the Lord just as well while staring
at a big screen that hides from view, a large portion of our beautiful sanctuary,
as I could in the pre "big screen days." I’ll be surprised if I do,
but it could happen. Meanwhile, I try to avoid attending church on Sundays
when I expect the big screen to be used. I can think of six Sundays in which,
come heck or high water, the big screen’s going up. Those include the
four described as "Come and See Sundays," where everyone is encouraged to
dress casual and bring a visitor, especially a visitor who might be uncomfortable
going to church dressed in "Sunday clothes." The other two Sundays in which
a big screen is employed are Baccalaureate Sunday and the patriotic service
conducted on or near the 4th of July.
I tell myself that the next time I am surprised to see the big screen in
use, I’ll just turn around and either worship elsewhere or head back
home. But, the last two times it occurred, I didn’t listen to my own
advice and stayed for the services.
On August 8th, I walked into the sanctuary some twenty minutes
early and was surprised to see the big screen. I don’t know the measurements
of the screen but it’s quite large, perhaps ten feet high and fourteen
feet wide. I do know there’s not room for a choir if the screen is in
the choir loft, which is where it was last Sunday.
I was about to set a course for home, when I saw Joel Hale, a choir member,
talking to someone an aisle over from me.
"I’ll ask Joel," I thought, turning to walk to the back of the sanctuary
and over to his aisle. "He’ll know why the choir is not singing."
Yet, seeing Miss Alva Montgomery, another choir member, seated near the rear
of the sanctuary, I quizzed her.
"They’ve got the screen set up for baptism," she explained.
It was then I remembered we do baptisms differently than we once did. Family
and friends are invited to stand as close to the baptistery as possible and
watch the goings on. This creates a problem in that the rest of the congregation
can’t see the goings on. However, technology provides a solution. A
camcorder is mounted on one side of the baptistery, then hooked to a computer
and projector, and the baptism is shown "live" on the big screen. The images
on screen show up pretty well in an evening-darkened sanctuary, but on a
bright Sunday morning, they’re downright pathetic.
I paced the floor a bit before deciding to take a seat, but I eventually
talked myself into staying for the service. The choir filled up the rows
in front of me, and a couple of choir members sat on right and on my left.
I thought for a while, I was going to have to sing in the choir, until I
learned they planned to line up on the podium for the special music.
Structure and order in my Baptist church are on the wane. Church leaders
are striving to strike a balance between modern trends and traditional worship.
The result is a blended service that doesn’t do justice to either. I
keep thinking things will get better, but I’ll be surprised if things
don’t get worse, first.
Bodock Beau
Redneck Church
There are not many groups we can insult, but, thank goodness, we can still
deride rednecks and not be considered racists. Jeff Foxworthy has made mega-bucks
poking fun at rednecks. The following may not have originated with Jeff but
are still humorous.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
-
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish
were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em..
-
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
five guys and two women stand up.
-
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
-
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the
church directory.
-
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
-
High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
-
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
-
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
-
The choir robes were donated by and embroidered with the logo from Billy
Bob's Barbecue.
-
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
-
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
-
"Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
-
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now! Ya' Hear?"
-
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier
because none of the members knows how to play one.
-
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
Contributed by Rhea Palmer
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